Have you ever been afraid to ruin your date just by words? You find a beautiful woman on a good single girls dating site, ask her out and then understand the date was a complete failure. She was talking too much, and you did nothing to stop it. You were nodding, checking your phone, and waiting for the night to be over. Reveal your anger and go into self-examination. Let's discuss such a phenomenon as "excessive date talking." Perhaps, it will help you stop meeting girls out of your league, and prevent you from making the above-mentioned mistakes.
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What Does It Mean When the Girl Is Talking Too Much on a Date?
You may feel puzzled. Is it bad if people talk on dates? Isn’t communication a key to creating good and strong relationships?
Of course, it is. Conversations, for example, mean there will be no awkward silence, and you will get to know each other better. But how can you enjoy a night out when she starts talking about her exes too much? And not only about them. All of a sudden, her short dress and a pretty little face is not that important. You just want to leave and never have a date with her again. Been there? Let us explain to you why your girl can have a talking too much disorder.
How to Understand When They Talk Too Much and It's Abnormal
We all know girls are of a talkative type. They all love gossiping and sometimes can become unbearable, while men prefer showing everything with usual silence. But even having a natural love to talk, a girl should understand that excessive conversations are likely to scare the partner away.
But still, don’t make hasty decisions. The true reason she does it is probably the nervousness and insecurity. She can either be afraid of awkward silence to occur or can like you a lot and want to share every tiny thing from her bio.
Now, it’s time to draw a line where she starts talking about herself too much. Your date can become toxic and can be ruined, if:
1. She doesn’t stop talking even after the first 5 minutes of your date.
Let us explain. Nervousness on a first date is completely okay. And if she is just trying to overcome this feeling, in the beginning, it’s okay too. Trying to break the ice and all this stuff. But when both of you start to feel pretty comfortable together, it’s time to stop being too talkative.
2. There are no pauses to think over what has been said.
Of course, she can be afraid of awkward pauses, but a couple of seconds of quiet time won't hurt anyone. Even the most romantic movies allow a few minutes of silence that creates a romantic atmosphere and help characters become closer. So, think about how to deal with people who talk too much if you have no time to breathe due to her talking.
3. You have learned the names of all ex-boyfriends and family members although your date lasted less than an hour.
Sharing intimate things is okay, but it has to happen gradually. Not on the first date. Not even on the second. That’s why if she actively shares too personal information with you, she has to learn how to control talking too much. Past romantic relationships are not the best date-topic, and it can ruin even a third date.
4. There's too much bragging. We all face the temptation to impress someone.
Especially if we like that person. So, nothing is surprising in her attempt to make you fall in love with her immediately. That’s why a girl can try to pretend to be someone she is not. She will be talking only about her perfect features, not yours.
5. Your words are just being ignored. Sharing is good but listening is even better.
It shows whether a person cares about you. Everybody needs to be heard, especially in relationships. And if you don’t think she can hear someone other than herself, run away..jpg "talking about exes too much")
How to Tell Someone They Talk Too Much: a Step by Step Guide
Now, when we’ve finally answered the question, “Why do people talk too much?” and looked through all the signs of toxic conversations, let’s decide what to do next. Just keep your head down? Not the right way to act. Turn around and walk away? It is rude. At the end of the day, she's a petite woman. Maybe not everything is lost, and you can still save the night. Of course, if your date is just a talkative person, you won’t change her personality. And you, probably, won’t get along. But some basic nervousness can be settled down with a little help. Here’s the guide on what to do with people who talk too much.
1. Try a trivial "food" method.
If you are in a restaurant, order some tasty meals and ask if she wants to try that amazing bread or a piece of croissant. This way, you will have a pause, and it will be your turn to speak.
2. If the girl talking too much is still extremely charming, and you don’t want to lose her, make her see you in a more intimate and personal way.
By the way, it will be pleasant for both of you. All of a sudden, take her hand, try to look into her eyes or slightly bump into her leg under the table pretend you've done it accidentally). This may release the tension around and make her quiet and attentive.
3. Catch some words from her speech that relate to you and try to draw her attention.
“I was there too, last summer…,” “my mom read me this book when I was a kid…,” “oh, yeah, I remember that day.” This will help you make her curious about the continuation.
4. Try to ask questions.
Yes, they can make her talk even more. But in some cases, they keep the dialogue going and make your partner ask questions as well. It is 50/50. Take the risk. Obviously, the simple politeness may take over and get things back on track. Such questions as, “Do you want to know something about me?” or “Isn’t it a bit one-sided conversation?” will serve a clear hint to keep the balance.
5. Say it.
The easiest way how to tell someone they talk too much is to tell about it straight. As easy as that. Be frank, open, and straightforward. No need to beat around the bush and make up excuses as, “I need to go to the bathroom” or something like that. If she’s clever, she’ll understand and even thank you later.
How to Not Talk Too Much About Yourself When Meeting a Girl
All clear, women can be chatty. That’s their nature. But what about men who talk too much? Yeah, usually it is a challenge to make a man talk. But stress and the fear to look boring make talk even the very best of us. No matter whether you have a vast array of experience or none at all, you can be the one who ignores a woman's need to talk and forgets about the ability to listen. Here are some ways how to avoid talking too much on a date and how to notice and fix it quickly.
1. The first and the most obvious – let the other person talk.
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If you know you’re guilty of hyperchatting, try to ask more questions and answer briefly but fully. Just demonstrate your interest in her because you are, probably, interested indeed.
2. Pay attention to her body language.
To learn how to stop talking too much, look if your date looks tired, tries to talk to other people, or goes to the bathroom suspiciously often. Maybe it's time to cut your monologue?
3. Try to avoid the details.
Don't talk about all the history behind the subject of your conversation. Names, dates, etc., will never stay memorized after the first date. Moreover, they will make your chat sound like a history lecture.
4. Stop and think about how much you have learned about her.
It’s really important. Do you remember her pet? What does she have a degree in? Or where does she work? If you can’t remember anything in particular, quickly browse how to not talk too much and listen to her, man.
5. Try to ask yourself why you can be so talkative.
Maybe you have some childhood trauma or often feel lonely? Try to work these problems out. And keep moving to a perfect conversation balance. When you understand you’re talking too much, take a deep breath. It will help you slow down.
Any date can be ruined by a big amount of words. The question is what causes your excessive talkativeness. Luckily for you, everything can be fixed with a bit of helping hand and understanding. Good luck!