Relationships are very weird and unpredictable, an issue of some unimaginable form may be lurking near you, without you being aware of it. You find a woman, you date a woman, and then, the time comes to make your relationships official. Marriage involves a lot of commitment; it is about bounding your life to someone else’s life and trying to make the best of it. And sure, you can always get divorced and move on to meeting someone else, but divorce is always associated with a lot of different issues, and divorce never brings pleasure to anyone. Thus, you should be careful when it comes to picking a partner for marriage. And while it sounds easy on paper, how should one choose a partner for marriage? Should I marry her if I have doubts? What are the criteria of a good wife? Do you need a “should I marry her checklist”? This article is for you.
Is It Normal to Have Doubts About Marrying Her?
The answer is quite short, yes, it is absolutely normal to have some doubts before doing something that has such an impact on one’s life. There is no need to feel like you are the only one who is going through it. All of the anxiousness that you may have had before in your romantic relationship with a person will probably disturb your sleep. You may be reading this and thinking, “Well, yeah, I get that it’s quite common to have some doubts, but my situation is different to the rest.” It is very much likely that it is not different at all. Here are just some of the most common fears men face before marriage.
Fear of change
Whether you like it or not, a family is not a civil marriage, so you will have to make adjustments to your usual life. And here men have many questions: will she take care of me as before, will she be a good wife and mother, will she turn into a grumpy old woman after just a few years of marriage? And some even think about such problematic things such as baby diapers, unwashed dishes, and all the garbage that needs to be carried out, which can drive a man into a deep depression.
Fear of an approaching sense of responsibility
“Now I have to give my wife and children everything they need. In a way, I’m turning into a person on whose shoulders the whole world will be held.” Joe, 25 years old. Indeed, many men are led by a phobia that they will not be able to provide everything necessary for their future family.
Fear of loss of freedom
One always has to sacrifice something for the sake of establishing a family and then maintaining it. If before a man spent every weekend with friends, hunting, and fishing were weekly events, now he has to deal with his wife’s opinion, which means that he will be seeing his friends a lot less than before.
Fear of being cheated
Then there’s the fear of being cheated on. What if, suddenly, this cute girl with such honest blue eyes will turn into a cruel beast and not only break the male ego with acts of cheating but also take away half of his fortune and leave him absolutely helpless.
Fear of losing love
Some believe that living together can squeeze romance out of a relationship, and the bright feelings that brought two loving people to the registry office will go out as soon as the basket in the bathroom is filled with dirty laundry.
Everything that happens (and does not happen) with us is the result of our work, our thoughts, our actions. Family life can be turned into a holiday, an eternal honeymoon, it all depends on us, our perception of things around us and the way we approach them. In general, everything is in our hands. If you fall flat on your face, and you get divorced with your wife, don’t think that it’s all over, finding a decent single woman dating site is quite easy, and thus, finding a decent woman is not a hard task at all.
Now that you know it is completely normal to be afraid of marriage, then let’s check out some signs that you should marry a woman you are currently dating.
When Your Doubts Are Real: Signs You Should Not Marry Her
Marriage is a serious obligation. Nobody wants to become part of such an alliance that will make you unhappy and angry at everything and everyone around you. You must make sure, before marrying this beautiful girl that you can mentally and emotionally support this marriage. You must be a mature person who understands that love and matrimony are not easy, and you need to work on this to achieve success between the two.
But in addition to becoming a suitable person yourself, you need to make sure that you have chosen the right partner for life. You cannot afford not to be picky. You have to be sure that the girl you have chosen suits you. Remember that you are going to live by her side! Therefore, one should put a lot of thought behind the choice of a wife.
Although, of course, it is not right to just end a relationship on the spot after seeing one of the following signs, still, there are some categories of women that you should stay away from. These are the types of women who are incredibly difficult to achieve happiness in marriage with. Because of such women, you may periodically want to shoot your brains out with a shotgun. So, be receptive to all women but also stand guard over your happiness. Do not forget about it. You don’t want to be with a woman who will eventually ruin your mental health, devour your soul and, in general, make you unable to love anyone ever again. Here are the types of women you definitely shouldn't marry.
1. A woman who is always dissatisfied
Should I marry her? If she oozes negativity, then you should probably find someone else. She is constantly upset and unhappy with something. And she brings only negative things to your life. She is like a thundercloud that is always above you, and you can’t feel comfortable in her presence because a storm can be just around the corner.
2. A selfish woman
She certainly won’t think about you. She is incredibly self-centered and thinks only of herself. She certainly will not care what you think and how you feel if she cannot benefit from it.
3. A materialist
She will expect a chic life from you. And in general, she won’t even look in your direction if she is not sure that life with you will be profitable for her. She will use you as a wallet. And it is quite likely that you will become poor without making her happy in the process. So be careful.
4. A woman that constantly flirts with you
Her looks are not just for you. She is always actively searching for a new goal to build her eyes. She likes to flirt and play with different people. It is unlikely that you will feel reliable with her.
5. A girl that likes to party all the time
Both of you need to grow up and say no to nightclubs and parties. So, if she prefers to attend parties every weekend, she’s unlikely to be old enough for marriage.
6. A very demanding girl
She wants you to offer the whole world to her, and there are no ifs and buts about it. But, even if she receives it, she will not be happy. She thinks she’s not the kind of a person that should achieve anything by herself. She believes that everything should be at her feet on demand and be served on a silver platter.
7. A woman that is greedy for attention
She will never let you bathe in the glory when she is around. She will always be jealous if you succeed, no matter what success is. She wants the eyes of admiration to be confined exclusively to her, not to anyone else, even if it is you who steals her spotlight.
8. A drama queen
She simply adores drama and will always strive to be surrounded by it. And, in the end, this very drama of relationship will destroy your alliance. When you grow up, you will want to minimize unnecessary hassle. So, if the source of all this noise and pain is your wife, you should sound the alarm and not put a ring on her.
9. An unreliable woman
Of course, the most important thing that should be mentioned is that a wife should be faithful. Loyalty and devotion are the keys to a successful marriage. And you need a woman that will solve the problems you encounter with, and not switch to someone else when they pop up on the horizon.
Now that we are done with the signs you should not marry her, let’s move forward and find out how to know she's the one to marry.
Should I Marry Her: Our Checklist
It often happens that young (and not so young) people meet or even live together, but they are not in a hurry to marry, because they are not really sure about their future partners. And, as you can see from the information presented above, there are quite a lot of reasons to be wary of. There are also a lot of signs that a woman you are dating is not a good fit to be your wife in the future. But let’s talk about something more positive. Here’s a “should I marry her test” that should make it easier for you to make this hard decision.
1. She supports your dreams
And she makes efforts to help you achieve what you want. She is not selfish and will never leave you alone when you desperately need her help.
2. She loves your friends and regularly asks you about them
How do I know if I should marry her? She is not worried when you say that you are late because you are meeting them. She is not jealous of you when you are in their company. If a woman doesn’t seem to like your friends – it will cause a lot of problems down the line, you will constantly have to choose between her and your friends.
3. She still flirts with you via text messages and video communication
How to know if I should marry her? Regardless of how long have you been together, she still wants to see you every day. And she is bored if you are not next to her. She likes to get you intrigued and excited.
4. You are more to her than just a boyfriend
And she is no longer just a girlfriend for you. You are partners. You both take an active role in building your relationship. And both want them to get even better.
5. You can tell her about anything
There is nothing that you would consider necessary to hide from her. And it seems to you that you cannot possibly squander this trust.
6. You want to take care of her
Should I ask her to marry me? Well, if you feel like you want to take care of a woman you are dating, then there is no reason not to do it. You feel that loving and protecting her is already part of your character. You worry about her even when you know that she can handle a situation that she is in.
7. You never get tired of being near her
She is always number one for you. If you find a funny video on YouTube, then you will send a link to her first, and only then to everyone else.
8. You have the same hobbies
And this even though that each of you also has your own life. Each of you has your friends. And you constantly meet with them alone, and sometimes together.
9. You do not feel that something is threatening your personal space
You know that her life is not only about you. And you know that she can solve most of her problems on her own. She tells you about important events and affairs, but she does not bother you with trifles.
10. The thought that you can spend the rest of your life with this person does not scare you
Why should I marry her? For the first time in your life, you are not afraid of the fact that you will have to wake up with the same woman every morning. You have not been bothered by other girls that you see on the streets for a long time. Of course, from time to time, you notice beauties, and you can even stare at them, but you do not need any of them anymore. You are absolutely sure that this unfamiliar long-legged blonde is not suitable to become your companion in life.
11. You two are not perfect, but you know it
What is the best woman to marry? The one that knows that she is not perfect. None of us are perfect. Sometimes you get tired of being with each other. Sometimes it seems to you that she is unfair. Sometimes you tell her offensive things just because you felt offended. But both of you also have productive discussions, during which one of you or the other takes over. And you know that any quarrel is not for long and will not ruin your relationships.
12. You are not trying to change each other
You understand that her unique quirks make her who she is, and your quirks are your quirks. Of course, you often cannot understand her, and this is normal. If you are ready to take her with all the flaws, then there is nothing to worry about.
13. You really want to introduce her to your friends and family
Maybe not all of them are going to like your choice. Maybe sometimes you want to go to your parents yourself, without her. This is normal. But if you are proud in front of your parents that you have found a girl like her, then this is your woman.
14. She inspires you to be the best
You like her patience with other people, but at the same time, she constantly hints at the need for your development. You have something to learn from her. She will do everything in her power for you to reach your full potential.
Now that we are done with the signs she's the one you will marry, let’s conclude this article.
Life is a very unpredictable beast that can be a cute puppy at first but then turn into a fire breathing dragon the next second. You cannot know what is going to happen, and the same goes for love and marriage. You fall in love and you are filled with emotions, you propose to a girl because you feel like she is perfect in every single way. Everything’s fine if she turns out to be just like you thought, but what if you were acting on emotions alone, and she has turned out to be a total bitch? Well, this is why you have to do your best to leave your emotions behind and analyze the situation for what it is, analyze whether a woman is suitable to be your wife.