Divorce with a woman is a serious situation that can unsettle even a very strong man. So, after it, he starts visiting a single woman dating site, may face depression, complete devastation, which in the end, can lead to anything. And it is quite difficult to overcome such a state itself and even sometimes completely impossible.
Whatever family relationships are, people get used to each other. Months or years are spent together, this is an established way of life, a particular rhythm, and she is a close person whom you considered your support. Divorce is an extreme situation when it’s impossible to exist together, nonetheless, the partner is still a part of your life. But anyway, it must be remembered that all worries are temporary. The human psyche adapts to any situation and rebuilds. So, how to deal with a divorce?
How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Divorce?
Some believe that at least half the time that the relationship lasted should pass, others are convinced that a broken heart can’t be set on a timer. But it turns out that it is possible – after three months, most people begin to see the bright side in what has happened. And here dating sites help women looking for men (and vice versa) find their happiness. Of course, three months is a conditional term: for some of us, it takes more time to heal a heart wound, for someone, it takes less. Although many believe that it is psychologically easier to the initiator of divorce because he or she has time to prepare for it and wants it.
How long does it take to get over a divorce? Readiness for a new relationship can be determined by appraising a potential woman. Do you consider her as an individual who meets your requirements? Can you build prospects for living together? If yes, then you are ready. Do you still compare a person to a former wife and recall her behavior in similar situations? So, you have not overcome divorce with your ex-wife yet. You need to let her go and perceive her only as a passed stage, which gave you the necessary life experience.
But it must be remembered that if you repeat past mistakes in the next marriage, both the second and subsequent marriages will be doomed to failure. Both parties are always to blame for the divorce. There are no exceptions. You need to understand your own mistakes to build strong relationships in the future.
Emotional Stages of Divorce
But in fact, everything can be overcome. And almost all people go through the psychological stages when coping with divorce. For this, you just need some time.
Denial
Denial and shock are the initial reactions of any person and the first emotional stages of divorce. These emotions usually last from several minutes to several months, but most often – about 10-12 days. At this time, it is not easy to believe in what happened at all. For example, you found out about the betrayal or she said that she needed a divorce and left. Friends and relatives can help you. If you tell someone about what has happened, expressing your feelings, and maybe crying, you can feel a little better.
Anger
At this stage, the realization is already coming that divorce is inevitable. There is anger both at the partner and oneself and even at others. You will never avoid this stage. If you decide not to feel anger, you don’t want to live with it, then you should know that it will not go anywhere. It will remain with you and take on the guise of resentment. And this means that you can get stuck at this stage for life and never go to the stage that will allow you to be loved and happy again.
Bargaining
What bargaining looks like? It is an attempt to start relationships again. Manipulations are used about each other, including sexual relations, threats, and so on. Sometimes people resort to pressure on a partner with the help of others. Friends and relatives often “help,” instructing a woman who wants to end a relationship in the following ways, “How will he live without you? He will not be able to overcome it,” “You are to blame for the fact that he is drinking alcohol now,” and so on.
Depression
This stage is the longest and most difficult when dealing with divorce. It is at this stage that a man fully realizes that marriage can’t be saved. And many can’t accept this. At this stage, people push all loved ones away. The best way to easily get over it is to find a hobby. You can even move to another place to think less about your past life or change your image, walk and meet friends as often as possible.
Acceptance
So, at the stage of acceptance, the long-awaited healing of spiritual wounds comes. A habit of coping with everyday problems on your own is being developed. You understand that there are people from whom you can get support, understanding, and help. You no longer avoid new acquaintances. The old contacts are restored, and new ones are being made. The joy of life appears and self-esteem increases. A year or two after the divorce, and the need for new love arises again.
How to Get Through a Divorce If You Love Your Ex-Wife
In each person’s life, there was a breakup. But it is even more difficult if people who are family get divorced. And it is unbearable if you still love your ex-partner. Indescribable pain, a feeling of emptiness, grief, despair, and resentment settles in the heart. Many are trying to find the answer to questions: how to deal with divorce, what to do to re-establish faith in love and open the heart to new feelings? Psychologists recommend letting go of a person and finding positive factors in the situation.
Don’t try to return anything
Those who are looking for an answer to the question of how to cope with divorce should first take care of themselves. Give yourself a period of communication with your wife after divorce but no more than a year, after which you must end this connection. Every her appearance in your life will stir up wounds that have not healed yet. And you don’t need this at all. Of course, it is optimal if you can completely reject communication with your ex-wife. Hint your ex that you don’t want to have any connection with her, even if you still love.
Don’t analyze what happened
If it’s hard for you to control your feelings, give them free rein. Going through a divorce, allow yourself to scream and cry. Take a pillow and hit the mattress with your fist. Turn on your favorite music and dance, jump, do whatever you want. Speak your feelings out loud, remember good moments. Having survived all the stages of emotions, you will leave them in the past, and when this happens, take a step towards a new life. Try to get rid of heavy thoughts and worries. This will help you overcome a divorce not so painfully.
Don’t involve children in a relationship with your ex-wife
How to get through a divorce and not to involve children in your problems? Children worry because of the divorce of a mom and dad much more than the parents themselves. They often blame themselves for it. These are the features of the children’s psyche. In the period of separation, parents often don’t pay attention to children, and they feel unnecessary. Add age crises here, and your experiences will seem a trifle compared with what is happening in a small person’s soul.
Don’t try to return everything after a while
Almost all men, shortly after the divorce, want to return their former spouses, forgiving them everything. Don’t give in to this desire – for a start, cool down a bit. Only if the persistent desire to return the ex-wife will not disappear even six months after the divorce, then you can try. If the intention to return her has disappeared, then divorce is only for the good.
Don’t rush things
At the first time after a divorce, try not to start new relationships. It is generally accepted that this is the best way out. Having started an affair with a woman immediately after the divorce, you will subconsciously compare her with your former wife, begin to make comments to her, get angry, look for flaws in your new partner and get nervous. This will doom any relationship to failure. And when you break up, it will add another serious psychological trauma to you, which will not only negate attempts to adequately overcome the divorce but also exacerbate the situation.
Get rid of memories
Pack all the things of your ex-wife in a suitcase and dispose of it in any way that you consider necessary. Getting over divorce, act radically: get rid of even the dearest gifts of the ex-spouse. Of course, all these cute trinkets are of great importance to you, but after some time, you may realize that it becomes easier for you because they don’t catch your eye at every step.
Love yourself
How to deal with divorce as a man? Take care of yourself and your body. No matter how hard you want to lie in bed all day long, nevertheless, don’t neglect hygiene and nutrition. Try to catch your slightest desire and don’t deny yourself anything. Take a walk in a beautiful place, dine in a good restaurant, buy a car. Pleasant relaxing procedures perfectly help – massage, hot bath, etc. An excellent discharge is given by physical activity: sports, trekking, and so on.
Can I Win Her Back After Divorce: an Honest Answer?
No matter how we are convinced that the past should remain in the past, life sometimes proves the opposite: once separated, partners often return to each other after some time and find true happiness, despite prejudice.
Returning to a former partner is a very common situation, and many ask how to deal with divorce when you don’t want it. According to statistics, about a quarter of couples who have broken up subsequently start relationships again. However, before imagining a picture of a happy reunion, you should consider how much you need it. It is important not to confuse nostalgia for former love with a real opportunity to get back together. The memory is designed in such a way that it often stores lovely romantic moments, erasing something unpleasant so as not to injure us. It is unlikely that her character has changed much.
It is difficult to start a relationship after such unpleasant things. Don’t hope that the love that you had before will be reborn. Conflicts always reveal the shortcomings of both people, leave wounds in the soul. Your relationships will not become completely new: you know this person well, her strengths and weaknesses, habits.
So, having decided to return your ex-wife or not, you need to clearly realize whether you really need it! If yes, then be persistent and prove your woman that you really need her. Maybe she also misses you, and you have high chances to become family again. But once again, think twice before taking such a step.
So, how to get over a divorce? The most important thing here is not to despair. The world didn’t collapse but simply changed a little. Once you understand this, you will have many new opportunities. Don’t limit your happiness to a stamp in your passport. Allow yourself to be happy no matter what is happening, and you will see that it is possible. Wait a little and everything will change because, as you know, time heals any pain.