The first step is always the hardest, and the same goes establishing a relationship. So many different types of anxieties can influence the decision to approach a girl with some serious intentions. What if she rejects? What if I am not pretty? What if she is crazy and is gonna call the police? Well, the latter is unlikely, but let’s talk about some more realistic aspects of such a scenario. What should you know about approaching a girl?
Important Things to Know Before Approaching a Girl
Many men face some issues when approaching a woman to establish a conversation with her and try to make something out of it. Your goal doesn’t matter, whether you plan on making something big out of it, or you just want to get into her pants. Some things are important regardless of your intentions.
You should look and smell well
I can’t think of any woman, any type of character, any situation in which a woman would prefer to have a date with a man that smells awful. Would you want to date a woman that doesn’t care for her hygiene? I don’t think so. So, just don’t ask questions when it comes to this one, it is very important, and you should always smell nice.
You have to analyze the situation first
Being prepared for a situation is to increase your chances at eventual success. But what can you do in a situation when you want to approach a woman, how can you prepare for a conversation with her? Well, think of a line that will be your opener, think of the way you want to present yourself, think of the things you see when you are looking at a girl. Can you tell anything about her by looking at her? Maybe she is fit and likes fitness, maybe she is laidback and likes to feel comfortable? All of these things matter.
You have to be ready for a rejection
We will talk about this point in more detail later, but you should not take this one as some rude comment, we don’t know you. The thing is that every man can face rejection from a woman at least once in their life. And there is nothing wrong or bad about it, this is just the nature of things. So don’t just lay your hands down and surrender. You also have to remember that you can meet ladies online, not just in real life, however, approaching women in real life will undoubtedly be a very useful skill in your dating endeavors, no matter if you are dating online or real life. Now let’s talk about some ways to approach a girl.
Tips on How to Approach a Girl Right
Now you know a few things that you should be aware of before approaching a girl, they are all important, but it is as much of an art as anything else that has to do with romantic relationships. Making love to a woman is a form of art, caring for a person is an art, keeping a relationship going is also a form of art. Approaching a girl is no different, let’s now list some tips on how to approach a girl.
Promise to be confident to yourself
What is the best way to approach a girl? This is probably the best way of getting the confidence that is needed to approach a woman. And it is quite an easy one. Well, the process is simple, the method is hard. You have to promise to yourself that you will approach a woman that you like. Let’s say that you gave a word to someone else, to your friend or your relative, you will probably feel terrible in the case of breaking that vow. But don’t you have the same approaching when it comes to becoming more self-confident and becoming less terrified of approaching women? There is no reason for this intellectual hypocrisy. You will never get any experience in dating and approaching women if you don't try it.
You can get some experience by visiting one of the many young women seeking men dating sites and learn to talk to women there. You will realize that “how to approach a girl online” is a bit easier of a task than to do it in real life. Also, while you are doing your online research, you can check out some signs a girl wants you to approach her because there are some important things to remember, all of this information is just a few clicks away.
Burn the bridges to the retreat
How to approach a girl? Here’s a history lesson. One day, one of the generals burned all the ships of his army before the decisive battle with the enemy. He said, "We will either win this battle, or we will all perish." As you can guess, they won the battle. The motivation was very strong. It is known from psychology that the fear of death is the strongest fear of a person. It awakens the instinct of self-preservation, and a person does such things that they would not have thought that they are capable of, being in the ordinary state. This feature of the psyche will help us a lot in our goal. Draw a mental picture in your head, that when you are making your way to a girl, a wall of raging fire slowly grows behind you, there is no going back, only forward. For the wall to disappear, you need to say a simple word to a regular person like you, which seems to be easy, but at the same time, it scares you. This simple word is “hello.”
Rule of 3 seconds
How to approach a girl you like? Use the rule of three seconds. This is a very commonly used rule. It is the rule that helped out on numerous occasions, as it is very, very effective. Here’s the short version, you tell yourself that you are going to approach a girl, then you say, “Three, two, one - go” to yourself and go do it. After you say the word “go,” the brain should turn off and not turn on until you reach your goal, namely the word “hello.” It is very basic, but it works. It is suitable in many situations. In combination with the above methods, it is even stronger.
Talk to Tom Cruise
How to approach a random girl? This may sound odd, but you should talk to Tom Cruise. I came up with this rule myself. The fact is that I like Tom Cruise. His style, his way of staying in public, talking, his behavior, manners, facial expressions, gestures, etc. And then, when I want to approach a girl, the inner voice begins to dissuade me. But what if this inner voice speaks in the voice of Tom Cruise? He will say, “No, you will not succeed, you are not as handsome as I am. I would have approached her two minutes ago, and you are a weakling,” and at the same time, he laughs at me with his perfect smile. This thought makes it easier for me to approach a girl, and it makes me smile. Tom Cruise is increasingly discouraging me, saying, “Wait! She is mine! Do not do it, please!" And in the end, I face this evil version of Tom Cruise and tell him that she is mine.
In general, this is a very powerful way to motivate yourself and overcome subconscious fear. One of the main pleasant effects of this method is that the smile appears by itself, while you are thinking of your conversation with Tom Cruise. And the girl thinks that you are smiling at her. Well, let her think that it’s the case. The reason why we are smiling is weird and complex, and you should probably not talk about it. But, I think you’ve got the idea, talk to a person that you find to be attractive before approaching a woman and make them surrender under your confidence and willingness.
Outside perspective
How to approach a shy girl? Talking about fear of approaching a woman, why are we most afraid of what others think of us? And the answer to this question is simple, imagine that you have entered the body of another person who is sitting or standing near you. You look at yourself from the side. And so you get up, take a couple of steps, start talking to a girl, you smile and everything seems to be fine. “Oh, what a nice guy,” you think with the brain of the person that is near you. "Dammit, that could have been me, I could have approached that girl instead of that guy, god damn!” And even if you fail, how does it matter? They probably won’t hear the full conversation, and they will forget about it for an hour or two anyway.
Fool yourself
How to approach a girl at a bar? Give yourself a word that you will approach a woman. Use the above methods, then flip the entire thing on its head and break your promise! It has to feel bad. You will want to fix the situation, but it's too late - she has already left. Then, at the peak of self-hatred and strong confidence that this will never happen again, approach the next girl you like. It works every single time.
Argument with friends
How to approach women? Peer pressure may become your best friend in approaching women. If you still can’t respect yourself more than others, then promise your friends that you will approach a woman you like right before their eyes. Then, I think you’ll either have to disgrace yourself in front of them or come up and get to know each other. This is a very powerful tool for beginners. But then try to shift the focus of respect to yourself and not to friends. You did it not for the sake of proving something to your friends but yourself.
Plan b
Are you afraid that she will reject you? No problem. Just figure out what you will do if she says no., I advise you to simply tell yourself that it is simply not her day since she didn’t figure out what she lost at that moment of rejection. And then just leave. Nothing special. Man cannot be liked by everyone. This is normal. There wouldn’t be so many genres in films and sports if everyone liked the same thing.
First phrase
Just think in advance what are you going to say to her after the word "hello." This is going to give you confidence that everything is under control. You can use the following template. But I advise you to improvise. Here’s the easiest way of doing it, "Hello, my name is Matt." Of course, it is going to work only if your name is Matt. Why reinvent the wheel, if it is better and easier to just use this phrase. It is going to show a woman that you are self-confident, and you have no anxieties about approaching a woman.
Failure is your friend
Here’s a very important thing to remember, you have to make mistakes to achieve any form of success. It has always been and will be so. You learned to walk by falling flat on your face. Write your future by making mistakes. Not a single invention in the world just popped out into existence. At first, people were wrong. Only at school, for some reason, we were made ashamed of mistakes. But you should realize the importance of negative experience, and you will be inspired and want to fail again and again until something sensible happens, and you will learn the right way of doing a thing you want. Remember, Edison made thousands of unsuccessful attempts before inventing anything! Imagine just that. Thousands of failures before coming up with anything meaningful.
Things to Say When Approaching a Girl
Not everyone can come up with something epic and exciting, and also not everyone can understand the subtlety of such epic phrases. Therefore, it is best to say something rather ordinary, something that is not too overwhelming, for example, "Hello, you look great, my name is Matt, can I just get five minutes of your time?" This will be enough for the girl to agree if she likes you.
No need to use boorish and vulgar phrases like:
- "Hello baby, are you all alone? Let me be your friend on this lonely evening.”
- "What a sexy babe, don’t want you to spend this evening with me?"
- "Hey girl, get up and let’s dance!"
Of course, these phrases may work on some girls, but reasonable girls will make it quite clear that you are being obnoxious, and you suck.