15 Things You Need to Know about Dating as a Divorced Man


Dating after divorce can make you face various difficulties. After you broke up with your ex it is always troublesome to even start to imagine yourself with somebody. If you previously had a serious long-term relationship, you would need some time to recover and get well. If you feel like dating, then there are 15 important tips which can make your dating experience more successful.

men dating after divorce

1. Get Over Your Divorce Before Dating

General opinion out there suggests you to recover from your divorce before proceeding to date. When you start dating immediately after divorce, people may see you stressed, depressed, and difficult to communicate with. Psychologists say that even months after divorce partners who broke up experience troublesome emotions and stressful conditions. Marriage is a priori something serious. Being married you were involved in serious long-term relationships. It means that your life was different when you were married.

Now when you are single again, you need time to get familiar with what it means to be single again. When you rush for dating instantly right ahead after you just divorced you risk involving your possible dating partners into your own complex emotional problems. It may pretty easily alienate them from you seeing as how you haven’t recovered from your divorce yet.

So, if you’re asking when to date after divorce, then the answer is approximately 3 months. This time frame, nevertheless, does not imply that you need to follow it no matter what. It is just an average statistics data. You ought to know for yourself when you are fit to start dating again. When the time comes, you would definitely feel like starting to meet ladies again, believe it.

2. Be Confident

When you’re dating after a divorce you need to reassure your partner that you overcame your previous relationship and ready for something new. You need to be confident in order to make a good impression. You can be nervous at first because dating is something you haven’t done in some time. Still, there is no reason for you to think of past. Look into future and be confident about your well-being. Your ex and your marriage were just one stage of your life. You can now proceed to the next stage and follow your dreams to become happy. That is why you are looking for a new partner.

You can’t start dating being still depressed about your previous relationship. When you are confident enough that past stayed in the past, you can be passionate, interesting, and enthusiastic enough to start new relationships.

3. Have a Place to Crash

So, you want to know how to date after divorce and think you’re ready enough to start? Begin by dealing with your apartment. You need to have a place ready for your dating partner to come. Remember that under no circumstances you should be disturbed. If you have a roommate or if you’re still looking for a place and have something temporary, organize everything smoothly. Your place needs to be ready anytime.

dating after divorce4. Look Good and Feel Good

Think about your looks. Weeks of stress and emotional exhaustion should make no visible effect on you. You need to look well and smile. Express optimism and think about the positive sides. You are at the crossroads of your life. It is a new adventure which can make you experience something new. All roads are open and you can choose any way you want to go. When on a date, wear something you feel comfortable in. Visit a barber if needed. Specialists advise to visit sauna or spa and have a massage in order for you to feel refreshed. Your dating partners will naturally become attracted to you when you look and feel good.

5. Don’t Rush Things

Another advice on how to start dating again suggests you to be patient. You may want to succeed instantly but things can take time. You need to stay patient to achieve something. In can you’re not patient enough it can make you nervous and uncomfortable. Your first date after divorce may not be successful but you should continue. Experience comes with practice. Take lessons and learn from your mistakes in order to find a suitable partner. Dating requires you to think logically and don’t get involved right ahead. Think of what do you want from dating and what relationship you’d like to have.

6. Work Out and Distract Yourself

Recently divorced men tend to be too concentrated on their divorce. Of course, it comes with a psychological trauma and because of breakup and stress related to it. You shouldn’t use dating to distract yourself from your problems. Choose new activities and have some new experiences. Consider working out. Sports and sport related activities improve the circulation of dopamine and endorphins in your blood. Psychological benefits of working out include better cognitive functioning. Generally, sports can make you feel better on both physical and emotional levels.

If want to know how to date after divorce at 40, choose some new activities to distract yourself from your recent divorce. Being already in age can make your life feel meaningless without the partner you lost. In order for you to appear in the best shape in front of your new dating partner, you should be enthusiastic and positive. Consider taking a vacation and traveling. New experiences can increase your emotional health and have a useful psychological influence on your mind.

7. Define What Kind of Relationships You’re Looking For

Depending on your intentions, you should know clearly whether you are ready for new serious long-term relationships. Perhaps, you need more time before dating. One of the usual mistakes of men dating after divorce is their inability to claim what they want. You should know for sure what you’re dating for. Things like moving in together or traveling with your dating partner mean that you may want to get serious. Before making a commitment in your new relationship think again if you’re ready or not. Sometimes it may be appropriate to slow down for some time and let the things go on as they go.

8. Think of Your Future

One of the most important advice you should follow is to concentrate on the future. It is crucial for you not to look back because sticking to your divorce may evolve in depression and grief. The best way to stay positive is to look forward. Remember that future holds for you all kinds of wonderful possibilities and incredible opportunities. Be ready to embrace them and don’t spend time being confused over things that passed because it’s of no use for you.

divorced and dating9. Don’t Talk About Your Divorce With a Dating Partner

One of the dating rules after divorce is to avoid talking about a recent breakup with your new dating partner. People generally react negatively on any stories which involve breakups and relationship issues. Talking about it when you just start dating can make women think that you’re are not over your ex just yet. Therefore, keep it in or talk about it with someone else. It is even better for you to conceal the fact that you’re divorced and stay silent than talking about it with your dating partner.

10. Be a Good Listener

Men who are divorced and dating need to know that women like men who can listen. When you just start dating it is very important for you to express interest in what the woman you date says. Listen attentively and ask her questions. Be passionate in your expressions and show her that you like her. Women especially feel comfortable when others listen to what they have to say.

11. Be Understanding and Caring

Being a recently divorced man can have a lot of benefits. For example, you already have experience of serious long-term relationship. This makes you responsible, caring, and understanding. Believe it or not, but statistics show that people involved in serious relationships are more mature and better organized than those without such experience. Already being a family man showed you how to be caring and understanding. Moreover, as women look for possible husbands, already being a husband is a quality which can help you better understand women’s needs and satisfy their demands.

12. Be Creative

Men dating after divorce should approach their relationships creatively. Be original in your attitude. Don’t follow typical clichés and used guidelines. It is important for you to think out of the box and be open-minded. For example, choose going to a gallery instead of typical meeting in a restaurant. Or visit a fair instead of meeting in a park. Always look for alternatives. You can play bowling instead of going to the cinema or ride bicycles instead of visiting a concert.

13. Keep in Mind Non-Verbal Communication

When you meet new people or dating you should always remember about non-verbal communication. Your body and face, as well as the tone of your voice, can say a lot about you without words. How you move and how you look at others matter. Consider this scientific fact: people tend to get more than half of information non-verbally. It means that no matter what you say, people are going to make conclusions about you according to your appearance, moves, and gestures.

Try smiling occasionally and laugh when it is appropriate. Always concentrate on something positive that can uplift your mood. Specialists say that people are naturally more attracted to those who do not feel stressed and to people who express positive emotions.

Your facial expressions can say a lot about whether you’re sad or happy, confused, troubled, etc. Therefore, relax and enjoy your time during dating. Don’t be stressed and never be nervous. These things can instantly crash your date. Instead, focus on positive sides – you being with a woman you could possibly attract.

first date after divorce14. Tell About Yourself

It is important to express yourself clearly when you date someone. You should be as clear and precise as possible because being still strangers it is easy to be confused by something. You shouldn’t make your dating partner guess something or be familiar with something you are familiar. For example, if you’re interested in dogs or diving, it doesn’t mean your dating partner knows all about it as well.

So, don’t be a geek and tell about it as if you’re telling it to a person who doesn’t know anything about it. People like what other people are passionate about. Having something that really interests you can make you look better in the eyes of your partner. Still, be moderate and don’t spend the whole conversation on one or two subjects.

15. Look Her in the Eyes

You can practice how to look in the eyes of strangers on the street. You can look for no more than 3 seconds without it seeming awkward. Usually, people feel uncomfortable when a person they communicate with refuses to make eye contact. It doesn’t mean that you should look her in the eyes all the time. Just don’t forget about it and make eye contact occasionally. A lucky gaze can help you go far. All in all, be confident and leave your divorce in the past. Recover after breakup and approach your new dating partner full of enthusiasm and optimism. Good luck!