We are used to certain “rules” in society and consider them the one possible course of events. However, life is not that one-sided, and every rule has an exception. The same goes for a female led relationship. Even though there are many examples in history when a woman had a leading role in the family, bedroom, and even management of the country, it is still perceived as something unusual, weird, and out of place. We are used to the fact that a man must be a leader and the main driving force in everything. It is believed that a man should make efforts to win a girl over, make a proposal, become the main breadwinner and the head of the family. However, this formula doesn’t suit everyone, and some men and women would like to exchange their roles in relationships. Thus, what is a female led relationship? These three words have already given a clue right away. And it is not hard to guess that in such a relationship, a woman is a head and main decision-maker who takes responsibility for (almost) everything in the couple. You may find many different female led relationship stories on the Internet that will show you the life of such a couple from the inside.
Signs of Female Led Relationships
Are you interested in such a relationship with single ladies online, or you are afraid to find yourself in it? In general, a lot of couples would like to switch roles and enjoy a new order of things. Not all men want to be dominant since they are the owners of subtle and rather submissive characters, so all these alfa male behavioral patterns are not suitable for them. Female led relationships are deprived of power struggle and most red flags in relationships because each of the partners has taken the position they feel the most comfortable in. If a man agrees on such a role, usually, he doesn’t want to change this submissive role and become the leader again because an alfa male will never agree on that even for a while. Well, the gender roles will depend on the type of FLR the partners are in. So, what are the female led relationship ideas?
1. A man does household chores
If one of the main tasks of a woman in traditional relationships is to do household chores, then in FLR, a man is in charge of it. He can cook, clean the house, do dishes, and do whatever necessary to keep the house in order. At the same time, a woman can be the main breadwinner in the family while a man plays the role of a housewife. For example, if a woman has a successful career, and a man prefers to bake pancakes for breakfast instead of clinging a career ladder, such a form of relationships can be a win-win option for both partners.
2. A man takes a maternity leave
If usually it is a woman who spends 24/7 with a kid, and it doesn’t matter whether breastfeeding takes place or not, then when it’s about FLR, a man takes care of children. He is the main babysitter and parent who devotes all his time to the upbringing of the kid. If in some European countries, a man is just obliged to take at least 3 months' maternity leave to actively participate in the raising of the child, then in our case, a man is the main parent who does all the work while the woman earns money.
3. A man calls his woman for advice about everything
When it is about a patriarchal family, a man is the main decision-maker, and he doesn’t need to consult his woman even when it’s about purchasing some expensive thing (for example, a car) or taking any other decision. He has come up with something – he does that because he is the main one who decides on everything. However, when it’s about FLR, a man is deprived of decision making because his woman has the last word whether it’s about buying a washing machine or anything else.
4. A woman tells openly about her sexual desires
A dominant woman is not afraid to talk openly about her sexual needs and desires. She wants to get satisfaction, so she will rather show her man how to please her and will lead to satisfaction for both than will fake her orgasm. Even if they exchange roles in the bedroom, and a man takes a leading position, his main goal will still remain the same – to bring his woman to the bright climax first. As a rule, the sexual life of such couples is much brighter and intense.
5. A woman takes care of finances
Well, since a woman becomes dominant in all the spheres of life, it is obvious that a financial side will not become an exception. She can be the main breadwinner or just leads the common finances. Thus, a man can give her all his money and take them back only after consulting her. She becomes the main person who decides whether they should spend money on something and how much.
6. A woman takes an initiative
While in ordinary relationships, a woman is waiting when a man does everything himself or understands her hints finally, then in FLD, a woman is not going to wait for the man’s first step. She can easily ask him out on a date, kiss, initiate sex, or even offer to marry her. A dominant woman prefers to get what she wants instead of hoping that a man will guess what she wants and provides her with that. She is ready to do everything herself.
Stereotypes About Female Led Relationship
Everything that somehow differs from the generally accepted pattern is covered with numerous stereotypes and fictions. It’s how our brain works – when we don’t understand something due to the lack of experience or because it doesn’t fit our value system – we start looking for explanations. We try to assure ourselves why we shouldn’t do that or even think about it. And some female led relationship quotes just worsen the situation, making people believe that all these clichés have something to do with reality. Well, let’s consider the most popular ones and find out how much they correspond to reality.
1. A man doesn’t have any rights, he is rather a servant than a partner
Many people believe that FLR should be necessarily about an extremely dominant and powerful woman who treats her partner as a third-class human being. A man is rather a servant for such a woman than a partner, she neither listens to his opinion nor cares about him.
In fact, people who decide to start such relationships are much happier than ordinary “normal” couples. And a man remains a beloved partner for his woman, just each of them plays the role in which they feel most comfortable. Such relationships are not about humiliation and ignorance of someone’s dignity but about the freedom to play the most suitable role in a couple.
2. A man who agrees on such relationships has low self-esteem
Our society is used to an alpha male image, and everyone who doesn’t suit it looks as if they have some serious problems and definitely low self-esteem. A man who agrees on a submissive role isn’t perceived normally and considered to be whipped.
There are too many stereotypes about relationships, the root cause of which is an ordinary difference. If you don’t match the generally accepted picture of the world, then you will be labeled. Sometimes it seems that there is only one right way how to live this life. However, we are all different, and different things make us happy. A man in FLR can have the same healthy and high self-esteem that allows him to enjoy a slightly submissive role in relationships.
3. A woman who wants such a relationship is a feminist
When it comes to this type of relationship, people start talking about feminism, and it’s one of the most widespread stereotypes. In general, any situation that somehow relates to a dominant woman has something to do with feminism for many people.
Nonetheless, a dominant woman doesn’t try to assume a man’s role in the family. She doesn’t try to get rid of her femininity and take over the male behavior pattern. On the opposite, her sexuality grows with increased dominance. In such relationships, feminism doesn’t take place at all, just both partners feel much more comfortable in opposite roles.
4. Such type of relationships is about BDSM
When people hear the word “dominance,” they turn on their imagination to the fullest and come up with numerous very interesting explanations about what happens behind the closed door. And one of the fascinating stereotypes is that FLR is analog of BDSM when a woman is a dominant and a man is submissive.
Well, maybe it has something to do with reality for some couples, but it has nothing to do with FLR. Couples who practice FLR relationship know how to express their feelings better than others, so their sexual life improves in general. And even if a woman takes a leading role in sex, it’s not necessarily about BDSM. Don’t confuse these terms.
Female Led Relationship Advice for Harmonious Life
If you have the inner need to try this type of relationship, you should learn the female led relationship rules to get the best out of it. If you are a man who is tired of imposed alfa male pattern of behavior, and you want to be more submissive and give the whole power to your woman, do that if your desires match. There is nothing wrong with a desire to do what you want if it makes you happy and suits you most. We are all different, and the common behavioral pattern that is accepted in society isn’t suitable for everyone. Live your life, and don’t pay too much attention to someone’s opinion. And there is a female led relationship guide that will help you with it.
1. Define your roles in a couple
FLR should be based on clearly defined roles. Otherwise, this will lead to a mess and constant quarrels or just turn into a male led relationship over time. It has nothing to do with abusive and oppressive relationships in which a woman decides on everything and doesn’t let her man do anything the way he wants. Such behavior is about an abusive coexistence but not a female led relationship in which both partners love and respect each other.
2. Respect each other
Respect is one of the most crucial things in any relationship, and you will not be able to have a healthy and happy family without it. Respect is important because you pay attention to the desires and needs of your significant other, you respect them as human beings with their feelings, desires, goals, and drawbacks.
3. Don’t build a one-sided relationship
Some people decide on this type of relationship because of their experience and unpleasant situations that they faced in the past with previous partners. However, a female led relationship should be still deprived of trust issues and control freakiness when a woman tries to get the leading position and humiliate her partner, treating him as a third-class person. Anyway, partners should be on equal footing, when emotions and sufferings of both partners are taken into account. If a woman cannot change her attitude, and past experience doesn’t allow her to get rid of suspicions and stuff, she should turn to a specialist to not build unhealthy abusive relationships.
4. Communicate
There is a great saying, “If a woman is not happy, no one is happy.” And it’s what FLR is about. Communication is one of the crucial things in any relationship, whether it is a female led relationship or not. So, you should talk to each other, learn to openly express your feelings, desires, emotions, so that your significant other understand what you feel, what you want, and what you expect. Otherwise, you will face disappointment, frustration, and anger outbursts because of accumulated resentment and unspoken words. Both of you should feel happy, it is the main female led relationship advice.
5. Make decisions together
If you love each other and are going to live happily ever after, you should make decisions together even when it is about a female led relationship. Otherwise, they will not work out it in the long run. FLR is not about just having complete control, but it’s rather about communication and respect of each other’s opinion. When nobody ignores another partner and behaves as if they are the only grown-up here. You should build a relationship as two adults who feel comfortable and happy being together and playing such roles.
6. Review how everything is going every 6 months
The fact that one day you decided to switch roles and try female led relationships doesn’t mean that you should live like that for the rest of your life. Things can change at any moment, and you should be aware of these changes to continue to build a happy and healthy relationship. Every 6 months you should try to create a safe space in which you can discuss all the moments that suit you and make you upset. Talk with each other as much as possible – it is the only way to control your life together.
7. Ignore the people who judge you
You should be ready for the fact that there will be people who don’t understand you and may even judge because you differ from them and don’t adhere to the generally accepted rules. However, you shouldn’t worry because of their judgments. You live your life, and if you love each other and feel happy in these roles, it is the most important thing in the world. You may even create a female led relationship blog to provide people with information on how everything is going inside such a couple, but it’s up to you to decide whether you want to do that.
Keep a Balance
Any relationship requires a lot of work from both partners, and when it comes to female led relationships, the situation can be even a bit more complicated. And if you feel that you lose a balance in your relationship, or something has gone wrong in the way you communicate, sort things out right away with your significant other. If everything is too complicated, and you are confused, you can take a break for some time and then start everything from scratch or break up completely.