A relationship between a man and a woman is an incredibly complex interaction. And not always, having chosen one partner, a person is ready to devote their life to monogamous relationships, not paying attention to other representatives of the opposite sex. Monogamous relationships are right with regard to the moral norms and the universally recognized principles of life.
What does monogamous mean?
Monogamy is a peculiar historical form of marriage and family. What does monogamous mean in a relationship? Monogamous are those relationships in which both partners don’t accept the possibility of cheating or having "double" life, that is, permanent or fleeting love affairs. Taking about monogamous vs polygamous, a polygamous relationship presupposes the existence of two or more spouses or partners. So, what's a monogamous relationship? A monogamous model of the relationship has been used to build a nuclear family for a long time, and many people consider it synonymous with marriage. And the majority of people believes that a marriage is a union of two people without the intervention of a third party.
What is a monogamous relationship?
This kind of relationship is considered basic and classical, even in Muslim countries, surprisingly. In addition to this, modern conventional divorces, as well as the building of relationships and subsequent marriages are perceived by the Muslim people as polygamy of a consistent type. It is possible to agree with that because their statement is quite truthful. If you don't understand why monogamy is important, look at it from a position of a family.
The family of a monogamous type in its original meaning is capable of creating the best psychological atmosphere for all members of the family. Such a family has great chances for economic well-being, and it is much easier for it to be regulated in legal relations. Children who have grown up in the conditions of such a family and home atmosphere have good psychological health, and they are not reluctant to cheat on their partners.
Are humans meant to be monogamous?
People have been wondering for a long time, “Are humans supposed to be monogamous?” On the one hand, some scientists believe that from the evolution point of view, there is no reason to think that people should be monogamous. People are genetically closer to chimpanzees and bonobos than to any other group of primates, and their sexual nature is also similar. They also have sex face to face, they have a similar structure of the genital organs and use sex not only for reproductive purposes. Besides, these primates do not limit their sexual connections to only one partner.
People have become monogamous to raise children, and over time, this behavior has become a generally accepted and "correct" behavior pattern. This gives grounds to recognize that monogamy can be considered a public, state implementation, and not a genetic predisposition.
On the other hand, polygamous relationships should have made sense for the ancient people, as they tried to increase the chances of dominant men to widely extend their genetic material and increase the population. However, according to the mathematical models, when the communities reach a population of 300 or more people, the epidemic spread of STDs leads to the opposite results, and there is a reduction of people.
Does love make a difference?
Love is an ancient survival mechanism, created to be close to those you love and trust. Nowadays, the need for safe sexual connection with a regular partner is the main life-stimulus, which forms your nervous system and influences the chemical processes in the body. When you have sex, you make eye contact, exchange touches and caresses, and your body is literally filled with oxytocin, the hormone of affection.
Oxytocin "turns off" a sense of fear, triggers the hormones of positive reinforcement and makes you feel calm and peace. It's no wonder that people seek to love. When monogamous mammals get oxytocin blocking drugs, they often get out of the pack, and when they get an additional dose of oxytocin, they can literally lick the partner to exhaustion during the mating game.
Why monogamy is good
Today, monogamy is notorious. Someone insists that it is time to grow up and accept the fact that it is impossible at all because people tend towards diversity in the personal life. Monogamy is interpreted as a state of deprivation, in which a too close relationship takes away the magic and thrill of sexual life, and cheating is regarded as something inevitable. However, according to several studies, about 75% of people do not cheat on their partners. Although until recently people did not have a scientific justification of love, which would serve as an evidence for them, more than half of people have been able to live with the partners without cheating and save their strong mutual feelings.
The results of a survey conducted by the University of Chicago have shown that couples who are in long-term relationships and who are faithful to their partners are the happiest, satisfied, more likely to have sex and get more pleasure from it. Do you know why monogamy is better than polygamy? There are several reasons that monogamy is not a utopia, especially today when affection helps you create a healthy relationship and keep the love.
1. It is very convenient to have a soulmate. A monogamous relationship is very convenient because you can rest with a partner, pay for an apartment, meet with common friends, discuss bosses, watch TV shows and go shopping together. It is more convenient to live with the beloved partner, and it is the truth. Besides, you can have regular sex. A partner who knows what you need is better than any one-night stand.
2. You can maintain mental health. You can hardly be surprised with role-playing games, sex toys, and fantasies of different levels of lasciviousness. Therefore, cheating makes no sense. Of course, you can find someone else even tomorrow. But what for? In general, any love affair is an exhausting thing. You need to be alert all the time, to have an excellent memory and peripheral vision. Being on edge, your eyes can start twitching. A man in the monogamous relationship is calm like a boa. A car ride without children is already a cool party.
3. The quality of sex become better. Most of the arguments against monogamy are based on the postulate that "sex with one and the same partner is boring." However, the researchers have shown that when partners become more open and emotionally close, their sex life improves. Sex "for fun", when there is no place for emotional involvement of the sex-partners, is greatly overrated. It is like a dance without music. Such sex is flat and one-dimensional.
4. You don’t waste your energy. Being in a monogamous relationship, sex is not lust, as in the case with polygamy, but a real euphoria of the soul and body. In addition, the most romantic people are not able to get real pleasure from sex without love. Therefore, they avoid sex without feelings. A monogamous man believes that having sex with a stranger means to waste valuable energy in vain and to desecrate a source of his own energy. In a monogamous relationship, love and sex are closely connected. Sex is possible only with a beloved one. A man can recognize that he feels affection to the ex-partner, but a true monogamous man will never consider this affection to be love. Love is a bright, violent, sexually colored experience for such a man. Sex is the regular satisfaction of physical needs, and only beloved partner can undertake this task.
5. You can communicate more openly. What is a non-monogamous relationship? Such type of the relationship implies having several regular partners as well as love affairs, people who prefer this type of the relationship tries to get maximum pleasure from sex. However, ironically, according to research, these people get less pleasure from sex than the monogamous partners. It is proved that partners with reliable attachment, who are fully involved in the relationship, are happier and more caring. In addition, the quality of their sexual life is also higher. They are more open to exploring their own sexual needs, they are easier to talk to each other about sex and work together to solve problems in this sphere. Their relationship is more sensitive and harmonious.
Why monogamy is bad
Many people destroy love and monogamous relationships with constant distrust and jealousy. Jealousy is one of the most common problems of monogamy. One researcher proposed a solution to this problem that suggests resorting to agreed sexual relations with other people. This is the solution to the problem, but only for the people who are open to a monogamous marriage with an asterisk. Only a small number of people is ready for such a relationship.
1. There are high chances of lack of love. There is an opinion that quite often, monogamy has nothing to do with love. Sometimes, the monogamous relationship between the two partners is more convenient and traditional for partners than numerous passionate love affairs. After many years of fruitless searching and painful refusals, you finally find a partner that you like and respect and who will feel the same. The question, "Is it necessary to love or not to love?" is very insidious. Not everyone can find the right answer to it. There are people for whom it is important, and there are those for whom convenience is much more important than love.
2. You should be mature for this type of a relationship. Many people prefer an open relationship, but it doesn’t mean that this is their desired lifestyle. Some of them are very dependent on many "circumstances" that prevent them to have a monogamous relationship with a single partner, to live peacefully and happily. Some people believe that only monogamous relationship between one man and one woman is ideal, and they are full of perfection and harmony. However, you need to mature for a monogamous relationship, in other words, you should sow your oats. It often happens that people "fall in love" because there is no other choice. And when they meet some better options, they overlook all the moral values and easily cheat on their partners, jumping into things too quickly.
How to stay monogamous?
Earlier it was believed that passion has a shelf life, and therefore, it is incompatible with long-term relationships. However, nowadays, there is a new science of love. So, do not worry, you do not miss anything. If you comprehend the meaning of love, you can fall in love with a beloved partner time and again. Long-term close relationships that are full of different challenges, do not exclude a wonderful sex life as well as joy, and happiness. If you want to stay monogamous, and you believe in love, make efforts and never back down.