Every relationship begins with romance, passion, and admiration. At the beginning of the acquaintance, a man and a woman are in seventh heaven and think that their love euphoria will last forever. But if one does not make efforts and work on relationships, then the everyday life takes effect and relationships begin to show signs of strain. So, there are some pivotal rules for a good relationship that a couple should observe to strengthen love.
General Relationship Rules
Let’s start with the general healthy relationship rules that you should know.
Do not trifle with affections
One of the most common problems in a relationship is unreciprocated feelings: almost always one of the partners “loves” more than the other. Such a difference in feelings tends to grow – it has its own vicious circle, which leads to the breakdown of relationships.
Most people are afraid to express their feelings honestly and openly. After all, it is easier to be loved than to love and languish. It is a kind of "advantageous" position – to "sell" one’s own society as an extrinsic value so that a partner begins to sponsor it psychologically: to give signs of attention and make concessions.
As a result, either a person who loves more finally gets tired of their humiliating dependence, as if from drug addiction, and decides to free themselves according to the principle “out of sight out of mind,” or their partner begins to cook up an escape plot, being exhausted from compulsions to love and mental suffocation.
In order for a relationship not to come to a full stop, you should practice open communication with a loved one instead of manipulative playing on each other's emotions. It is one of the most useful rules for a platonic relationship. Honesty has a remarkable property – to clarify the situation. And the more tricks and manipulations in relationships are, the bigger and more confusing the web of mutual misunderstanding and mistrust will be.
Do not ask for love
If you lack the company of your partner, the problem is not that you have the wrong relationship, but specifically in your own unrealistic demands. It is impossible to claim love and care in certain quantities. Sincere feelings caused artificially are an oxymoron, that is, there's no such thing.
It is very important to recognize the absolute futility of the attempts to claim love. Coercion to love does not work but causes a completely opposite uncontrollable reaction of antipathy and disfavor. No one has any rights to the love of another person – it either arises spontaneously, as a natural subjective response to what is happening, or not.
The analogy is a flower. No matter how much you cajole and pull it up by force, it will not grow faster, but on the contrary – die out. You can only create fertile ground for its growth – even then, there is no guarantee that it will work. The same thing happens with warm feelings – they arise not because the dependent partner needs them but as a reaction to their personal qualities and actions. And among these qualities, there is definitely no obsessive, hungry addiction.
Do not avoid quarrels, but learn how to solve them constructively
Some people deliberately avoid quarrels, but is it always good? Grievances accumulate, and a crisis in the relationship will come sooner or later. It must be remembered that a partner does not know how to read your thoughts, therefore, it does not make sense to expect any actions from them. Understatement does not solve problems. Joint dealing with problems is one of the most important components of a relationship. Therefore, it is better to quarrel from time to time than to suffer for months or years, and then give a loved one a piece of your mind, slam the door, and leave for good. However, you should not kick up a shindy for any reason.
Polyamorous Relationship Rules
Forget about jealousy and control
This is one of the most important relationship rules for couples that should be strictly observed. You should not control your partner and ask questions, “Where have you been?”, “Who was with you?”, “Why didn't you call for three days?” etc. Of course, it is not always easy, as the feeling of ownership wakes up at a certain stage of any romantic relationship. However, if a person chooses such type of relationships, they must understand that the private life of their partner is open to other people. If this fact is difficult to accept, then a polyamorous relationship is not for you.
Respect each other's freedom
One of the most pivotal rules of a relationship is freedom. Do not limit your communication with others: get acquainted with new people, smile, and be interesting to yourself and others. Also, such rules in a relationship apply to your partner – complete freedom of action and preferences.
Make sure you both want it
In order for a polyamorous relationship to work well, partners must express their 100% agreement. Therefore, you should decide what you want from a partner and what you consider to be unacceptable in a relationship. Do you just want to have sex on the side or maintain other long-term relationships? Are you comfortable with understanding that you have to share your partner with someone else? It is better to resolve such issues at the very first stage of the polyamorous relationship.
Open Relationship Rules
Do not acquaint them with friends and relatives
The most frivolous thing in an open relationship is to invite a partner to a family celebration or a party with friends. First of all, your beloved will not like such an offer. Moreover, your relatives may think that if you acquaint them with your loved one, it means that the wedding is not that far off. Not all people are able to understand open relationships. Today you tell a friend about the passionate night and tomorrow all your acquaintances look askance at you.
Set the rules
It is one of the best rules for an open relationship. You should discuss with a partner and write down all the wishes and requirements that you have. For example, you can make three lists:
- what is required;
- what is desirable;
- what is unacceptable.
You should consider many things: from the frequency, duration, and nature of communication with other partners, to the need for safe sex and your actions in the case of an unexpected pregnancy.
Do not hide negative emotions
It may seem better to hide negative emotions from a partner, but such a strategy can lead only to serious problems in a relationship. Be sure to discuss your feelings related to jealousy, resentment, or envy. Talk about what you like in your relationships and what causes discomfort and why. Be ready to face both the advantages and disadvantages of open relationships. Long Distance Relationship Rules
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Trust each other
One of the easiest ways to destroy even the most beautiful relationship is to poison it with distrust and jealousy. When you start long-distance relationships, you should be ready for possible difficulties associated with trust and jealousy. To make your relationship happy, you need to be a priori confident in the honesty and loyalty of your partner. If your loved one went to a party with friends, you should not torture them with questions about why they have not called you or ignored your calls in the morning. Do not think that relationships put the usual life on pause. Each of you has a personal life, you just need to trust each other.
Communicate in all possible ways
It is a kind of exclusive relationship rules. Since you cannot see each other every day, it is important to maintain an emotional connection. However, it does not mean that you need to sit on the phone for hours. Exchange short messages using Internet mail and instant messengers. Write about your small victories, joys, and problems. Ask for advice from each other. Write romantic messages and send your loved one small gifts, flowers, and cards for no reason. And, of course, try not to forget important dates. It is better to set reminders for each of them.
Meet more often
Relationships cannot develop harmoniously if you communicate only by phone. Use every opportunity to see a loved one and spend some time together in real life. Consider regular visits and strictly adhere to the plan. It is one of the best platonic relationship rules that will help you maintain strong intimate relationships.
Casual Relationship Rules
Discuss all problems
If something goes wrong, be sure to discuss it. No one will fix your relationship for you. The main thing for maintaining confidence is absolute honesty and openness of both partners.
- Share your doubts and fears. It will help you not only heal some mental wounds but also understand the partner better.
- Keep the promises. The only way to regain trust is to keep your word.
- Do not delay with problem-solving. Otherwise, it can destroy relationships.
Remember the little things
Simple courtesies, compliments, and support mean a lot. All these little things affect your relationship. Therefore, many psychologists advise continuing to go out on dates, go somewhere for the weekend, and find time for sex, even if you are tired. Physical intimacy allows you not only to maintain healthy relationships but even helps fix them when something goes wrong. So, this is one of the most essential rules for a relationship.
Be realistic
True love is not exactly that kind of romantic love that makes us not notice the shortcomings of a partner. This is a choice. This is the constant support and care for the other person regardless of the circumstances. It is an understanding that not everything in your relationship will be so rosy. This is the need to deal with the problems of a loved one, with their fears and thoughts, even when you don’t want to do it.