How to Fight the Awkwardness When Meeting Girl's Parents


Meeting Her Parents: 10 Essential Rules

At some point in your relationship, you are expected to meet the parents of your partner and be introduced to them. Usually, partners decide to meet each other’s parents during their first year together. Meeting her parents is an important challenge. It can be dealt with easily following simple rules provided below.

Meeting her parents should be a mutually voluntary decision, sincere from both sides. If you or your partner doesn’t want to attend the meeting, do not force the decision. Sooner or later you and your partner should try to have a conversation about it. By meeting her parents a boyfriend introduces himself as a possible new family relative in the future. Therefore, a possible husband is examined by parents with extreme attention and interest.

meeting her parents

Rules to Remember When Meeting Her Parents

What to do before the meeting?

Be Prepared.  Relationship counselors advise to prepare for a meeting and try bringing a gift. Something small and nothing out of ordinary might come right in place. Ask your partner the exact full names of the parents and, if there are any brothers, sisters, or any other close relatives as well. Remember some details about them. Ask about the parents and their activities, interests, and worldviews.

When you meet the parents you might also be staggered by the number of your partner’s uncles and cousins. It is easy to forget new names during the meeting so coming prepared might come in handy. You are expected to remember all the names in order not to disrespect anybody. Just remember the names and be aware of who is around you.

Look Good

What to wear when meeting her parents? When preparing for the meeting, pay attention to your appearance. Consider visiting a hairdresser if there’s a need. Wear your best suit or a favorite shirt. Psychologists say that wearing comfortable and attractive clothes increase self-confidence. Wear something you would be feeling comfortable in.

You’re Good, Right? So, Be Yourself

Meeting her parents may cause some stress. It is absolutely okay to feel estranged, confused, and disoriented. So, you’re presenting yourself as a possible husband of their daughter. They want to see all of your good sides. Show them you have some. Talk about what interests you. Traditionally, almost all couples tell how they first met and became interested in each other.

meeting her parentsBe Confident

Express confidence in everything you say or do. Don’t get frustrated easily. Speak of your relationship with the partner in a simple and easy way. Your partner’s parents may become your relatives in future. Therefore, try to make a good first impression since you won’t be able to change it in years to come. To be confident is to be yourself. Don’t overplay your advantages or appear as somebody else. Act naturally and approach your partner’s parents like close friends.

When to meet the parents?

The important thing is to balance between too early and too late. Meeting you girlfriend’s parents too early might seem ahead of time. Doing it very late can cause suspicion. Usually, in such situation one of the partners either feels ashamed of his or her parents or blames the other for being ashamed. Parents can be difficult to cope with especially when romance, love, and relationship are involved.

Remember What It’s All About

Meeting your girlfriend’s parents is very important for your partner. Remember that you do it not only for your partner but for yourself as well. You introduce yourself as a prospective new family member. Therefore, despite all awkwardness of being a potential husband, you actually create a foundation of your reputation as the life partner of their daughter. In other words, you make it clear that the relationship you’re involved in is serious. You may not know how serious but people don’t usually meet parents of their partners on a second or third date.

Express Love towards Your Partner

Awkwardness and stress usually follow the partners when they meet their parents. This can distract you from the main things you need to do – getting to know the parents and showing you love your partner. You should be able to distribute your attention equally between your partner and his/her parents. Be interested in conversation, ask something about parents’ personal life, their interests, and activities. Express your attention by sitting close to your partner, kissing a little, hugging, and smiling.

Don’t think of the meeting as if it is a job interview even when it feels so. Parents may challenge and stress you in any way they want but remember that you’re in it for your partner who appreciates it. You also have the advantage of being a guest so asking you inappropriate questions is a mistake her parents don’t want to make.

In conversation try using a lot of “we” and “us” instead of “me and her” or “I and you”. This linguistic trick will highlight your partnership, unity, and love.

It may happen to be very helpful. You can offer to do the dishes or help set the table, maybe have a private conversation with the father under the pretext of helping him with something in the garage.

meet the parents Express Care When Meeting Girl’s Parents

You are going to be checked and monitored closely by the parents of your girl. They will do it in order to get to know the real you and see how you present yourself. Imagine you’re being in a company of good friends of your partner. Meeting her parents is almost like meeting her friends. Even though her friends cannot always be your friends, you should act like they are your friends. See parents as her friends, people very close to her. The reason she introduces you to them should make you proud. You are entering the inner social circle of your loving one. Respect that and express gratitude, affection, and care. Your partner is probably also nervous because she is afraid her parents may not like you.

Don’t try Hard to Be Liked

Not everything is up to you. Eventually, you may not be liked by your girl’s father or mother. Even despite your best intentions, it is difficult to maintain friendship with relatives and people of older age. Your girlfriend’s parents should be treated with respect but if you don’t become friends immediately don’t get bothered with it. Out of respect for their daughter, the parents will pretend they like you anyway. It is natural not being liked always. After all, who are you to be liked by everybody and everywhere? Be yourself but make a little effort to appear better. Just a little.

As in many other situations, confidence is always useful. It is hard to just follow the rule “be confident”. When meeting her parents, keep calm no matter how embarrassing the situation may appear. Her parents may ask you an uncomfortable question but not to intentionally hurt you. Try acting like you read and memorized this article. Say to yourself “so, meeting parents is stressful for everybody but I am not everybody, I’ll get over it”. Prove to yourself that awkwardness is superficial and fictive. Ignore awkwardness and don’t let it take over you.

Little But Useful Tips

Don’t drink too much when you first meet your partner’s parents. Politely refuse if her father pours you a second glass of his favorite 20-year-old scotch. Compliment her mother on the dishes she prepared and be polite about everything. Tell something pleasant about your partner’s family. You may show interest in some traditional family story. Suggest talking about your girlfriend’s childhood and be prepared to look through photos. Some of them may be truly hilarious.

Take your partner by the hand or sit close to each other. Have you seen those movies when a couple hugs and sits right beside each other on a couch with parents confronting them? Sure you did. It looks like an examination. Don’t be scared. Take your partner’s hand and smile. Even if you’re feeling uncomfortable talking about something, remember that it all will end really fast.

Compliment everything you can but be moderate. Pay attention to the house of your girl’s parents. If there are some domestic animals, call them cuties. If you’re not much into the interior, remember that all people love their homes unconditionally. Compliment parents on the house or the apartment. Make compliments on everything you can but don’t overplay it.

what to wear when meeting her parents​Get It Over With and Forget

One important thing you should keep in mind is that meeting her parents does not really have such a big influence on your relationships. You two love each other and one meeting with her parents simply cannot ruin it. It is important to impress her parents but it is not practically useful to strive for their approval. After all, it’s up to your loved one to decide whether to marry you or not. However, people themselves usually make things harder. So don’t ruminate how her mother looked at you and ignore that fact that her father imagined you taller. Her parents’ opinion matters but nothing serious can come out of one meeting. With further meetings, though, you’re going to be able to get used to her parents and make them get used to you.

Don’t Say Anything Negative about Her Parents

Under no circumstances should you say anything negative about her parents. Her mother may be a religious devotee and her father may really be into collecting stamps. Both of her parents may be very strict or too straightforward. You will definitely have something to criticize them for. Do it quietly and in front of a mirror. No matter what the circumstances are you are in no position to tell you girlfriend about her parents. First of all, she knows them better than you do. And secondly, she loves them and hearing something bad about them from a person she also loves (you) could make her experience confusing emotions.

After everything is done, leave on a good note. You may promise to meet her parents again soon just for the sake of saying it. Reassure your partner that everything is good. Even if the experience was unpleasant, be the man and keep this fact to yourself in order not to disappoint your significant other.