Linguists cannot determine how many languages there are in the world. Some argue that about 3000, other people think that more than 6000. Some of the languages disappear, some are made artificially. Some are complex enough, and some can be learned in a month. However, there is one language that will not die until a person has limbs and facial expressions. In this language, there are no words, but you can express and say much more using it. Of course, this is about the body language. What does body language mean? It is a perception of movements and poses that occurs on a subconscious level. You can easily understand the internal state of other people, being aware of the psychology of body language. Fortunately, not everyone is good at reading body language psychology, and you can get an important advantage.
The psychological nature of body language
What is body language? It must not be a secret for you that the so-called "body language" or in other words, non-verbal communication is an integral part of everyday communication. What percentage of communication is body language? The brain receives more than 50 percent of information through signals, the correct interpretation of which is the key to effective communication.
Basic "phrases" of body language: what you need to know.
1. Eye contact. If a person does not hesitate to make eye contact, this usually demonstrates the desire to make physical contact. However, too long eye contact is read as an expression of hostility and even aggression. It is important to be able to feel that timeline, beyond which ordinary interest turns into hostility or desire to get to know each other closer.
2. Eye movement. The direction of a woman’s eyes will tell you a lot. If she looks away to the right during the conversation, it can mean that the woman is lying, or that she is a creative person who "creates" something right at the time of the conversation. If she looks left, then the woman analyzes or remembers the facts.
3. Expression of the mouth. An expression of the mouth will tell a lot about you, even if you are silent. For example, the strained corners of the mouth, directed down, immediately give out your disagreement or angry emotions. People, most likely, will notice that and decide that you do not want to communicate with them. This is just the human body language psychology.
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4. Smile. The eyes will help distinguish a sincere smile from a fake one. The so-called "crow's feet" that are small wrinkles around the eyes, accompany only a real smile. A smile without wrinkles speaks of its formal nature.
5. Head tilt. If the woman tilts her head to the side, then she shows her sincere interest in the subject of conversation or in you.
6. Touching the hair. You can easily remember what body language means if you are a little bit more attentive. For example, if a girl shakes her hair, or constantly tries to fix her hairdo, she most likely flirts with you non-verbally.
7. Handshake. A weak handshake is regarded as a sign of indifference, and a strong handshake testifies to a friendly attitude and trust. Nonetheless, be careful, musicians, surgeons or people with arthritis will shake your hand more cautiously than other people for obvious reasons. The same thing is with women.
8. Crossed arms. When you see a woman with her arms crossed over her chest, this classic "closed" pose can mean both a reluctance to communicate, hostility, and that she doesn’t feel comfortable at this moment.
9. Crossed legs. When there is a person with crossed legs, this is a closed and, at the same time, aggressive pose. It shows a certain confidence that is expressed in "overbearing" attitude to others.
10. Personal space. Talking with a girl, do not be afraid to occupy a little personal space for yourself. It is enough to put your feet apart. And it does not matter if you are standing or sitting. This situation will help tell about your confidence and a sense of comfort next to the girl.
How to use body language to your advantage
How to use body language? The body language is one of the things that people will always use. People collect just a huge amount of information consciously and subconsciously using non-verbal signs. Many psychologists are convinced that from non-verbal signs we receive a big part of information. So, if you want a woman to come to you, then make sure that your body language is correct. Your body should say, "I'm a good guy, you should know that," and not, "Sweetie, I have one body in the bathtub, the other one is in the basement, but I still have a cupboard, do you want to join in?"
However, how to use body language to show a girl you like her and that you are a good guy? First, calm down. The strain of muscles, unnatural poses, and other things show that you are preparing for an attack, or you are very nervous, that is not much better. A woman wants to feel at ease, and she needs a calm partner. Do not poke head, cross your arms or look down. You should be open to communication, and it's not too difficult, just take on a good-natured look. Be sure to smile and maintain eye contact. One of the reasons why a woman does not come to you is that you do not react to her signals.
How to use body language to your advantage?
1. You should always remember about eye contact. In many cultures, it is not customary for a woman to come up or to talk first, but this does not mean that they do not do that, or they do not want to do that. Simply, you should really notice minor details that tell about the girl's interest in you. Remember the non-verbal signals, remember the look. If a girl has been trying to make eye contact all the evening long, then it means that she has been trying to talk to you for several hours, and you have been sitting like a dummy not realizing it. You could have just hinted that you are also interested in her. How to use body language to flirt? There are two possible options, either she will come to you, or you need to come to her and ask, "I'm not quite sure, but are you trying to tell me something?" The further conversation will run like clockwork because she wants that, and you need only to maintain her interest. Do not want to come to her? Raise a glass to her, nod and show a welcome gesture. There are a lot of answers to the question, “How to use body language effectively?” It will not work with every girl, but you do not need everyone, right?
2. You can try to use a smirk. Nothing will tell more about your interest in a person than a huge, shiny, pearly white smile. Remember how James Bond or Hank Moody smiles. Use your best smirk, it is more skillful in seducing than a standard smile. A smirk is a great way to test your attractiveness for the opposite sex.
3. You shouldn’t touch your neck. A girl should never notice that you are nervous. If you have any dispute, then she will immediately feel your insecurity. First of all, it is shown not by facial expressions, but by the hands. Many people, who want to calm themselves down, touch the neck. It is quite a natural reaction in response to stress, you seem to be trying to pull yourself together. This is quite understandable from the point of view of science because there are a lot of nerve endings in the neck that relieve the blood pressure and heart rate. When you rub the back of your head, touch your tie again, pull off the collar, then you send the SOS signal. Honestly, the fidgeting begins, the posture is lost, the shoulders rise higher, and the ridiculous turns of the head from side to side are becoming more frequent. Therefore, if you don’t know how to use body language correctly, remember that you need to keep your hands away from your neck.
4. You should control your movements and gestures. How to use body language to attract a girl? A person’s actions speak louder than words. Nonverbal communication rises above all the moments such as a good smell and outfit. This is a kind of shout of your upbringing and inner state. Therefore, avoid any gestures that can become an unpleasant surprise for a pretty lady. Do not make sudden, clumsy movements, do not point your finger at anything, do not cross your arms over your chest, it is repulsive. A closed posture does not call for communicating and getting acquainted.
5. You should be in a good mood. A man looks attractive not only thanks to his appearance but also thanks to his good mood. How to use body language to flirt? A good mood is a contagious thing, so when you laugh, entertain other people, enjoy life, then other girls want to meet you. They think that you know how to have fun and that they will not have problems with you. If you are depressed, you are full of anxiety, then there are 90% that no one will consider you to be attractive. Girls do not need a guy who will spoil their mood.
6. You shouldn’t expect that she will do all the work. Do not leave all the hard work to women. When a girl starts talking to you, then take the initiative into your hands and keep up the conversation, joke, be a pleasant person. Learn to flirt, after all. Be more accessible to other people, and then you will understand that getting to know the attractive girls is easier than it seems at first glance.
7. You should pay much more attention to your facial expressions. Have you ever been told that your eyebrows live their own life when you are angry or just don’t agree with the words of another person? It is true. You don't know why body language is hard to use right, but the answer is very simple. This is just one of the things that people do subconsciously, they just cannot control it without a long training. Your body will show what you really want and what you mean, telling a lie. So, if you have some master plan or you are going to lie about something, be sure you control your facial expressions.
The body language is an important ability in any kind of communication. Usually, people do not pay attention to how their limbs, shoulders, neck, and head move when they talk. They pay even less attention to the face, but, in fact, there are a large number of muscles that can change the meaning of any word. For example, you can take a phrase like, "I'll kill you," and say it in ten different ways, and the girl will perceive it differently each time. In the end, she might think that you are a degenerate, a maniac or just a joker. The context is important, as well as the body language, and not just words. So, it is very important to control your body, voice and face expressions.
You can start with a smile. Stand in front of the mirror and smile. Does the smile look strained? How natural is it? Does it not seem sinister? Try to smile friendly and openly. Have you succeeded? Do the same with the hands, the pose of the body and neck. You shouldn't be round-shouldered, talking to a girl, otherwise, she will think that you have been offended by life. Your posture is also important, but this is another talk. To correct the posture of an "office man", you need to spend months in the gym.